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Your essay covers the task well but needs to provide a clearer opinion. Improving the flow of ideas and using a wider range of vocabulary will enhance your coherence and cohesion. Paying attention to grammatical details will also help improve your overall score. Make sure to explicitly state your opinion and summarize it in the conclusion to provide a more comprehensive response.

Some believe that money for education should mainly be spent on better computers while others believe it would be better spent on teachers.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Good education consists of some important parts which work together to build a system: teacher, facility, curriculum, law, and others. Either teacher and facility is playing important role to build the quality of education. When the funding resource is limited, the institution have to make a hard decision about to whom the money should mainly be spent.
Facility such as computers and laboratory are learning tools for students to practice and master particular hard skills. The existence of those facilities is inevitably
needed even in the limited amount. If the number of the student is higher that what the facilities can fulfill, the management can still make a strategy so every student have the experience of practicing certain tool: to work in group and make a turn.
Beside the facilities, the quality of teacher determine the quality of the learning process since the teachers are the ones who deliver soft skills and hard skills to students. Even if an education system have the best facilities students need, without good quality of teachers, it will be such a waste. There are some qualifications a teacher needed to fulfill to reach a minimum score that determine their quality: the mastery of the subject they teach, teaching experiences, from where they get a degree (must be graduated from reputable universities), and so on. The higher the quality of human resources, the higher the amount of money the institutions must pay for they salaries. With the limited source of facilities, a high quality teacher with high creative thinking and communication skills can still deliver the subjects comprehensively to the students.
Both teachers and computers are playing important role to
build the quality and education. The management of the education institution must work hard to make a strategy so that those two components can be completed.

Overall Feedback

Your essay covers the task well but needs to provide a clearer opinion. Improving the flow of ideas and using a wider range of vocabulary will enhance your coherence and cohesion. Paying attention to grammatical details will also help improve your overall score. Make sure to explicitly state your opinion and summarize it in the conclusion to provide a more comprehensive response.

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