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Your essay covers the task well but could benefit from more detailed explanations and examples to support your points. Your essay is organized well, but clearer transitions between ideas would improve coherence. Your vocabulary is adequate, but avoid repetition and ensure word choice is accurate. Finally, pay attention to grammatical errors and proofread your work to enhance accuracy.

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time.

What problems does this cause?

What do you think are the possible solutions?
The people in developing countries are known for their consumptive behaviour over a tertiary needs, one of them are private vehicles which may lead to many problems such as traffic circulation and air pollution. Many developing countries rely on these transaction to boost their economical state, but they overlook the consequences of overpopulated city where a high number of individuals own cars.
The high amount of people own cars coupled with the under developed urban planning, could create discrepancy for the space itself. Developing countries also have a strict and even working hour for most of their working classes, so everybody will start their day and end it at the same time creating a congestion of traffic. At a glance, traffic is not a big problem and is normalized, but it actually significantly affect the quality of one's life. For example, because of the bad traffic parents get home late to their children and their children would miss such a precious opportunity to interact with their parents.
Not to mention, the high amount of vehicle used also means a greater carbon prints. These carbon dioxide polluted the air could lead to climate changes, which these days is already in a very bad state. Not only it affects globally, but this will create health problems such as lung infection.
The solution to this problem could be a better urban planning so that these countries could actually developed their public transportation systems and make a limitation to vehicle registration or taxes. The country itself has to create regulation for their people to follow

Overall Feedback

Your essay covers the task well but could benefit from more detailed explanations and examples to support your points. Your essay is organized well, but clearer transitions between ideas would improve coherence. Your vocabulary is adequate, but avoid repetition and ensure word choice is accurate. Finally, pay attention to grammatical errors and proofread your work to enhance accuracy.

4 paragraphs

261 words

6.0

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