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Your essay covers both sides of the argument but lacks depth and clear development of ideas. Your organization is weak, and your vocabulary is basic. You also make several grammatical errors. To improve your score, focus on developing your ideas more fully, using a wider range of vocabulary, and improving your grammar. Additionally, try to organize your essay more clearly, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Finally, make sure to clearly state your opinion in the conclusion.

Some people believe more actions can be taken to prevent crime, while others think that little can be done.

Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
To prevent crime, some people believe more actions need to be taken, while others think that little can be done. In my opinion it is depend on the context and situation, both side can be true or not.
First, there are cases that can be prevented. For example, robbery. We can prevent robbery by taking more actions like putting the surveillance cameras in the quite area or increasing the number of security in the crowded area. Tightening the regulations is another thing that can reduce the number of crimes, some people are afraid of being jailed or dealing with the law. But in another case rising the economic prosperity is better. Because, most of the criminal actions done by the economic reason.
Second, for the cases like war crime or humanity crime it is true that only little thing can be done. There are different motifs and reasons that be the background of the actions. Some psychological researchers said that human have a behavior to never satisfied with their own. It is naturally lead someone to doing crimes. Like to invade others that weaker than us. That is why, many people think that there is no action needed to prevent crime. For example, in the country that have a good economic level and tight regulation like Australia, still there are many crimes happened. In China, the government set almost a million of surveillance cameras around the country and used an advance face recognition technology to prevent crimes, it is reduced but not prevented 100% of crime to happened.

Overall Feedback

Your essay covers both sides of the argument but lacks depth and clear development of ideas. Your organization is weak, and your vocabulary is basic. You also make several grammatical errors. To improve your score, focus on developing your ideas more fully, using a wider range of vocabulary, and improving your grammar. Additionally, try to organize your essay more clearly, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Finally, make sure to clearly state your opinion in the conclusion.

3 paragraphs

258 words

5.0

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