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Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the task and is organized logically. However, to improve your score, focus on developing your arguments more thoroughly, enhancing your vocabulary, and correcting grammatical errors. Paying attention to these areas will help you achieve a higher band score.

Educating young people is naturally important. However, some think governments ught to invest more education for adults in need.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the modern society today, I think education is very necessary for every people, even for adults. Educating is a big problem of governments since it is basis to create moral life. So, I think educating young people and adults in need is both invested by governments.
To begin with educating young people. In my opinion, young people is new generation whom enjoys a large quantity education of the 4.0 age, a prosperous age. Young people need a large of knowledge and experience to face with the life without shocked by poor and difficults. Moreover, young people must have been educated to apply for companies when they mature.
In the other hand, adults in need also should have been educated. Many people suggest that adults is unnecessary to educate but it isn't the case. Adults in need also have knowledge which they never know and access. They needed interact with modern life today to communicate with their relations and friends.
In conclusions, for me, educating young people and adults in need is naturally important, so governments should invest more education for them. It is the case for the developing life.

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4 paragraphs

190 words

6.0