Overall Feedback

Your essay is a good start but needs more elaboration and structure to achieve a higher score. Expand your ideas with detailed explanations and examples. Improve your vocabulary range and ensure grammatical accuracy. Providing a more balanced and developed discussion will strengthen your essay considerably.

Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing videogames.

To what extent to you agree or disagree?
When everything in this life is becoming modern and developing nowadays, many adults choose the method that keep their children at home and play video games or watch TV. To me, playing video games is not bad but have to be in the right limit, play to study and play to release stress, not rely on it. We can absolutely encourage them to engage in outdoor activities, the most easiest way to do that is parents need to pay time to join with them. In conclusion, I agree with the opinion that it is important to advise our children to participate in outdoor activities instead of being lazy and playing videogames at home.

Overall Feedback

Your essay is a good start but needs more elaboration and structure to achieve a higher score. Expand your ideas with detailed explanations and examples. Improve your vocabulary range and ensure grammatical accuracy. Providing a more balanced and developed discussion will strengthen your essay considerably.

1 paragraphs

113 words

6.0

Feedback