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Your essay covers the task well and is organized logically, making it easy to follow. However, there is room for improvement in terms of cohesion, vocabulary accuracy, and grammar. Addressing these areas will help you achieve a higher score. Specifically, focus on making your main ideas more specific, improving transitions between paragraphs, and correcting grammatical and spelling errors.

Some feel that movies and tv shows are a good way to study history despite their lack of historical accuracy at times.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In this hectic world, people become more difficult to spare their time to study other things especially a history. Some people may argue that book is a good way to study history because it provides more accurate things, but i firmly believe that people are more likely to use available source to increase their history knowledge in their leisure time such as watching movies and tv shows.
Firstly, people who
has a busy schedule is difficult to spare their time to read a book, too tired to go outside to the zoo, museum or historical site. So, they prefer to use their leisure time or their off time to increase their knowledge by watching movies and tv shows. Furthermore, today movies and tv shows has vary of historical story. Beside of that, it provides captivating way of source such as good quality of video, story and others.
However, the primary goal of movies and TV shows is often to entertain rather than educate. As a result, historical accuracy is sometimes sacrificed for dramatic effect or narrative convenience. For example, films like
"Braveheart" and "The Patriot" have been criticized for their significant departures from historical facts. Such inaccuracies can distort viewers' understanding of historical events and lead to the spread of myths and misconceptions. Therefore, relying solely on these mediums for historical knowledge can be problematic.
In conclusion, while movies and TV shows can serve as a useful introduction to historical topics and help make history more engaging, their educational value is limited by their lack of accuracy and potential for bias. To gain a comprehensive and accurate understanding of history, it is essential to complement these forms of entertainment with reliable sources such as academic books, documentaries, and primary historical documents. This balanced approach ensures that one can appreciate the engaging aspects of visual storytelling while also obtaining a well-rounded and factual understanding of historical events.

Overall Feedback

Your essay covers the task well and is organized logically, making it easy to follow. However, there is room for improvement in terms of cohesion, vocabulary accuracy, and grammar. Addressing these areas will help you achieve a higher score. Specifically, focus on making your main ideas more specific, improving transitions between paragraphs, and correcting grammatical and spelling errors.

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