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Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Due to the proliferation of social media platforms, many individuals are concerned of the potential risks from these sites, which detrimentally effect both people and the society. In my opinion, I believe this does have negative impact, however it can be countered by certain methods. This essay will give justification why I show both agreement and disagreement to this development.
On the one hand, the arising of technologies has lent a helping hand to the revolution of different social media platforms, this therefore results in numerous threat to society at plentiful aspects. One problem caused might be the excessive screen time that people spend on these sites, as social medias are addictive, some individuals are likely to spend an unnecessary amount of time surfing these platforms. As a consequent, these people are involved in several health
problems, such as obesity due to the lack of exercises, eyes issue which resulted from continuously looking at screens. Another issue that can be provoked through social networking sites is that the unethical contents these platforms provide, causing inappropriate thoughts and misbehaving, especially to children. As social media offers anonymity and public platforms where people can post information freely regardless of its accuracy, this leads to the widespread of misinformation, fake rumors and news, or even unsuitable contents such as violence and scams. This poses a threat to social networking users, and is even more significantly to those who are immature and not being able to be conscious of the harmfulness.
On the other hand, the development of social media can provide individuals with a wide range of advantages. Although it is irrefutable that these platforms can be a harmful source for users due to certain elements, people can still
countered these issues by implementing some adjustment of how these sites work. For instance, initiating cyber security, which help secure against the negative effects of inappropriate information online, and controlling the screen time of one's self, making sure that no one will overspend their time surfing the internet. Taking advantage of these solution, social media would still be a safe place, where it meets the demand of communicating and entertaining of individuals when they go online. If social networking sites are used with the suitable purposes, they are the ideal source for people to exploit, which provides different helps in different aspects of life, from educating to entertainment.
In conclusion, people should be aware of the potential risks that social media contains, however, once the process of transforming these platforms to a reliable source, social media will not only that problematic, but also is beneficial to users.

Overall Feedback

Your essay is well-rounded and addresses the task effectively, but there are areas for improvement. Focus on making your conclusion more definitive, breaking down lengthy paragraphs, and smoothing out transitions between ideas. Additionally, pay attention to vocabulary accuracy and grammatical errors to enhance clarity and coherence. Your essay shows promise, and with these adjustments, you can achieve a higher score.

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