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Your essay is coherent and addresses the task, but it needs more detailed support for your main points. To improve, focus on expanding your arguments with specific examples and avoid repetitive phrases. Ensure your vocabulary is varied and precise, and pay attention to grammatical accuracy. Proofreading your work will help identify and correct errors, leading to a more polished essay.

Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars and riding motorbikes.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, They always have had accidents on the roads every day, which will cause some traffic on the road and the Government wants to increase safety for the minimum legal age for driving cars and motorbikes. This essay will discuss issues along with the reasons.

To begin with, I will talk about one primary agreement between citizens and government rules. For example, the citizens agree minimum age to drive needs to reach 21 to be legal to drive. One major issue, mostly in the age below 21, every year there will be an accident of a drunk teenager driving in the middle of the night. This suggests increasing the legal age for a teenager so they can develop their brain, especially since the legal age to drive right now is 17, I think to develop their impulsive thinking needs to be increased to 21. Studies
show that the brain continues to develop into the early twenties, particularly in areas related to decision-making and impulse control. Delaying the driving age could lead to more mature and responsible drivers.

However, some citizens did not agree with statements from government rules,
cause it raises unfairness between some biases or innocent citizens need to wait until 21 to be legal to drive. The executing rules for some citizens will be unfair to some citizens who do not follow the rules, which will impact other innocent citizens. Delaying teenagers to drive, will make it harder for them to do some work and go to school. Parents continue to provide transportation for their children, which is in that age they need to do work or part-time.

To sum up, increasing the legal age for citizens will delay their driving age to be mature and be a responsible driver. On the other hand, delaying teenagers from driving will make their lives harder when they
need to do some work and school. In my opinion, I think increasing their age will make it harder for some teenagers, and the government needs to be more strict and give teenagers more education about driving safely on the roads to create a better society and life for each other.

Overall Feedback

Your essay is coherent and addresses the task, but it needs more detailed support for your main points. To improve, focus on expanding your arguments with specific examples and avoid repetitive phrases. Ensure your vocabulary is varied and precise, and pay attention to grammatical accuracy. Proofreading your work will help identify and correct errors, leading to a more polished essay.

4 paragraphs

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