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Your essay is well-structured and addresses the task effectively. You present clear arguments and provide relevant examples, but there is room for improvement in vocabulary usage and grammatical accuracy. Focus on varying your sentence structures and pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and punctuation. This will help elevate your writing to the next level.

Many young people today leave their own countries to work abroad.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working abroad and give your own opinion.
As of today, many young people leave their own countries to work abroad to find new opportunities. Most of the youngsters that leave their country are usually from third world countries. The accessibility of social media and how people are sharing their work advantages abroad are making the youngsters of the third world country residences feeling like they will strive better in another country.
There are advantages and disadvantages that
comes with working abroad, just like how there are advantages and disadvantages working in their own country. The advantages of working abroad consists of broadening their knowledge, they're exposed to new cultures, whether if it's working cultures or the cultures of the people. Another advantage of working abroad is a fresh start, the young people who works abroad gets a chance to a fresh start. Imagine being in a new country, completely alone, knowing almost no one. It's a fresh start for them. They can leave their past mistakes in their own countries and start with a clean slate. They can also contribute to their destination country, they can share their own culture to a new environment and it could be beneficial for the country. One example is how Australia protects their workers right and make sure they have work life balance, which is rare in Indonesia as Indonesia doesn't have a law that legally and clearly states that they have the right to not answer work calls outside working hours.
Just like how there are advantages of working abroad, it also comes with disadvantages, such as, having to deal with their new world alone. Unlike being back home where they might have parents whom they can turn to for advice when they're in trouble, in a new country they have to find a way to manage their problems by themselves. Another disadvantage that they might face is loneliness, a fresh start comes with it's own set of problems, as it's an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar new faces, the first few months of moving will take a toll on their mental health as they're alone in an unfamiliar place.
In my opinion, working abroad is a good way to broaden our horizons as young people, as we still strive to learn new things, and it's easier for youngsters to adapt to a new environment. Despite the disadvantage that might happen, it can all be overcome after we adapt to the environment.

Overall Feedback

Your essay is well-structured and addresses the task effectively. You present clear arguments and provide relevant examples, but there is room for improvement in vocabulary usage and grammatical accuracy. Focus on varying your sentence structures and pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and punctuation. This will help elevate your writing to the next level.

4 paragraphs

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