Overall Feedback

Your essay covers the task and presents a balanced view, but it could benefit from more detailed explanations and examples. The organization is generally good, but improving transitions and cohesion will make it smoother. Your vocabulary is adequate, but be cautious of inaccuracies. Lastly, paying attention to grammar and proofreading your work will help in achieving a higher score.

The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society.

Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Life before and after social media is significantly different. It brings influences to our lifestyle and how we interact with each other. We are every time exposed to what other people are doing, wearing, eating, by their posts on social media. Some people consider they don't need to meet their fellows directly just to interact with them, by seeing them through their social medias, giving likes to their photos, or leaving any comments to their posts, people are feeling engaged enough. If we need to gain some information or deal with particular business, we can save the cost of traveling to reach the place. We can manage it by just contacting the person in charge via social media.
In the other hand, particular face-to-face interaction will never be replaced by calling or texting messages using social media. Even the video-call feature available is not enough to replace some occasions like family gathering, attending our best-friend's wedding, or celebrating our fellow's graduation. Some agendas are just too special that we can't feel the excitements if we are not present in the place. at the moment. Our real presentations will bring vivid memories and shape positive perceptions about the journey of life.
Even if there is no special occasion, visiting our parents who live faraway or having coffee with friends in the favorite restaurant can bring happiness and fulfillment. Since we are social creatures, our nature is to socialize with others. Study shows that by skin-to-skin contact during direct meeting with loved ones, our bodies produce hormones to help us feel relaxed. When hormones of happiness such as oxytocin and dopamine are secreted, positive social interactions have
possibility to reduce stress or anxiety. Our brains do the same when we try to engage via social media, but less amount is produced, yet it cannot replace sincere huge, cheek-to-cheek warm kisses, shaking hands, or other real contacts.

Overall Feedback

Your essay covers the task and presents a balanced view, but it could benefit from more detailed explanations and examples. The organization is generally good, but improving transitions and cohesion will make it smoother. Your vocabulary is adequate, but be cautious of inaccuracies. Lastly, paying attention to grammar and proofreading your work will help in achieving a higher score.

3 paragraphs

314 words


6.0

Feedback