Overall Feedback

Your essay is strong overall, with clear organization, relevant ideas, and good vocabulary use. To further improve, focus on providing specific examples to support your claims, ensure clarity in complex sentences, and pay attention to minor grammatical errors. Your position is well-articulated, and your argumentation is generally sound. Keep up the good work!

Some think schools should rewards students who have the best academic results, while others think it’s more important to reward students who achieve other types of success (such as sports, music, and good behaviour).

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The notion that schools should reward students who have the best academic results or, on the other hand, reward them for other types of successes instead span a wide spectrum of debate. Schools are oftentimes pressured to give out rewards to students who are excelling in their respective fields in order to provide real-life appreciation in which the students will be able to use later on. These respective fields range a wide array of subjects, such as, those on the academic pathway, those in sports, those in the arts, and those is courtesy and discipline. Hence, these two interlinked dilemmas should be thoroughly analyzed in terms of benefits (towards the student and the school), disadvantages, and my opinion on such subject matters.

Rewarding students in the academic field
proves to be a mainstream endeavour for many schools around the world. It is so that it promotes the school's stability and well-being, advertising the institution to many parents of prospective students. This, however, can bear consequences. The brunt of this public promotion can cause an overbearing amount of pressure on the shoulders of many other students to excel up to a standard that they may not be capable of doing. Hence is why, some critics argue that rewarding students academic-wise is not, in itself, a smart thing to do. On the other spectrum, there is the action of rewarding a student in the sportive and artistic fields. This can encourage students to become for creative and imaginative in their work and artistic pieces, as well as push them to boundaries of agility and collective sportivity. Even so, such an action can also result disadvantageously. Similar to its counterpart, rewarding students in any field - ostensibly - can cause stress to other students to achieve a standard that they are short of. This will, in return, cause burnout and lack of motivation to continue on with their studies in their respective fields.

Such arguments, valid as they are,
advertently contradicts with my view altogether. My opinion, stands on a clear and strong podium, that is: rewarding students should not be done. I understand that the purpose of rewarding students is to appreciate their efforts and time in accomplishing a specific achievement, however, I personally believe that every student has already accomplished an achievement of their own. Whether it be small or big, every student has excelled in their studies in their respective fields - if not every of their fields. Conclusively, I believe that every student has the right to be appreciated without repercussions. Hence, this - without a doubt - means no rewards but more appreciation.

Overall Feedback

Your essay is strong overall, with clear organization, relevant ideas, and good vocabulary use. To further improve, focus on providing specific examples to support your claims, ensure clarity in complex sentences, and pay attention to minor grammatical errors. Your position is well-articulated, and your argumentation is generally sound. Keep up the good work!

3 paragraphs

433 words


7.0

Feedback