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Your essay demonstrates a strong ability to address the task, organize ideas coherently, and use a range of vocabulary and grammatical structures. To improve further, focus on providing specific examples to support your points, refining word choice, and ensuring grammatical accuracy. Overall, your writing is clear, well-organized, and effectively communicates your position.

It is sometimes suggested that primary schoolchildren should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals.

Do you think that the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Early age of children plays significant role in their development and character building. The chance to invest skills and knowledge to the children in the younger age is irreplaceable: once we miss it, we cannot turn back time. That is why parents have to consider the best activity that support the growth of their children both physically and intellectually. Teachers in schools are also responsible to design the best curriculum for students to prepare them for their future. Certain activities like learning how to grow vegetables and keeps animals are considered important to students in lower age, let say primary schoolchildren.
To continue the discussion, most of us probably experienced planting and farming when we were in elementary school, although those activities were done only as simulations. Actually, it is not just a tradition that passes from generations
but there are some pedagogical studies related to it. Besides the fact that those programs can be tools for addressing particular subjects like mathematics and sciences, doing natural activity provides other advantages. Make a contact with other living creatures like plants and animals can produce herd immunity to improve children's health. It is because some hormones like dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphin are secreted and produce the feeling of excitement. Touching the soil or animal's skin lead to contact with bacteria which can give positive impact to immune system. In addition, such a practical activities are way better to be memorized by students than just theories inside the room, so the knowledge and skills permanently remains until they are grown up.
However, some people worry about possible risks of activities like growing vegetables or keeping animals. Sometimes, pathogenic bacteria exist to cause particular disease when the area is contaminated. Unwanted accidents can also happen when clumsy students interact with animals. But those threats can be well anticipated by teachers by making well preparations. They can manage to make every part of the activity safe and sterile. Adults also accompany children during the
program as well as observing them to avoid any accident. In my opinion, the benefits of those activities outweigh the disadvantages.

Overall Feedback

Your essay demonstrates a strong ability to address the task, organize ideas coherently, and use a range of vocabulary and grammatical structures. To improve further, focus on providing specific examples to support your points, refining word choice, and ensuring grammatical accuracy. Overall, your writing is clear, well-organized, and effectively communicates your position.

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