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Your essay addresses the task and is generally well-organized, but it lacks depth in developing main points. Focus on elaborating your ideas with clear examples and explanations. Your vocabulary is adequate but needs more variety and accuracy. Pay attention to grammar errors, especially subject-verb agreement and prepositions. With some improvements in these areas, you can achieve a higher score.

These days people spend more and more time at work and less time at home.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
Nowadays, people tend to spend most of their time at work because some reasons and finally not be able to have more time with their family at home. Company's responsibilty become one of the reason on why people eventually give more time to work rather than spending time with their own family. Beside that, another reason's like people tend to feel more happier when surrounded by their friends rather than their family member also become the main reason of this topic. This essay will talk more about plenty of drawbacks and benefits of this topic.

Some people in these days, often
feeling lonely and think that they will be socially happier when meeting with other people. This means that people who spend more time at work will definitely get this happier vibes then have to stay at home alone. Another important point which can be a good advantage for people who stay at work more is that they can focuses more in their job responsibilty, they can finish their job faster and evaluate more, so that it can make them become a good performancer in their company.

On the other hand, workers who do not really have time at home will not have a good relationship with
their own family member. They will tend to have a bad communication with their parents or partner. Moreover, they also will feel so much tired everytime they finish work and sometimes it can make them feel burn out about their job.

On conclusion, the workaholic people will enjoy their life more if they actually spend their time at work and home balancely, so they still have time to socialise with the family too, not just their colleagues. Beside that, they also will have time to heal a bit after their work time.

Overall Feedback

Your essay addresses the task and is generally well-organized, but it lacks depth in developing main points. Focus on elaborating your ideas with clear examples and explanations. Your vocabulary is adequate but needs more variety and accuracy. Pay attention to grammar errors, especially subject-verb agreement and prepositions. With some improvements in these areas, you can achieve a higher score.

4 paragraphs

296 words


6.0

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