Overall Feedback

Your essay is clear and addresses the task well, but it could benefit from more detailed support for your main ideas and improved coherence. Your vocabulary is adequate, but be mindful of word choice and spelling errors. Additionally, work on minimizing grammatical errors and ensuring subject-verb agreement to improve your overall score. With these improvements, you can aim for a higher band score.

Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?
As of now, many people around the world argue that smoking is a massive cause of various serious illnesses and death counts. Because of that, individuals are saying that for the cause of protecting the public health, governments should ban tobacco products and cigarettes. As for me, I agree partly, as there are still a few pros to cigarette and tobacco production.

Firstly, as it has been stated, the consequence of the aforementioned products vary and broad, ranging from strokes, heart disease, and multiple types of cancer. These are all serious illnesses that can affect one's wellbeing tremendously. Furthermore, because these kinds of products are
distrubuted and sold freely, access to them are not of difficulty, even allowing children to buy a cigarette.

Secondly, the managing and production of tobacco and cigarette products are not environmentally friendly, as factories and manufacturers usually do not apply procedures that allow these products to be created in a friendly way to the environment, or skip them to alleviate costs. This unethical way of business can directly affect the surrounding nature through the disposal of chemicals or broken machinery. As a result, the habitat around us worsens with each day passing, also harming our health at the same time.

Although there are a plethora of issues relating to the production of these two products, it has created jobs for many people, helping them to support their family, and also supporting the economy in various ways.

In conclusion, there are extensive controversy around tobacco, cigarettes and related products as it harms human's health and can be environmentally damaging. But there are two sides to a coin, and the creation of these products still generate income and jobs for the population. As for me,
I personally think the government should still ban it, as in both the close and far future, it will do more harm than good.

Overall Feedback

Your essay is clear and addresses the task well, but it could benefit from more detailed support for your main ideas and improved coherence. Your vocabulary is adequate, but be mindful of word choice and spelling errors. Additionally, work on minimizing grammatical errors and ensuring subject-verb agreement to improve your overall score. With these improvements, you can aim for a higher band score.

5 paragraphs

308 words


6.0

Feedback