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Your essay presents a clear position and is generally well-organized, but it would benefit from more specific examples or evidence to support your points. Your vocabulary is adequate, though there are some word choice and phrasing issues. Pay careful attention to grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and verb forms. By addressing these areas, you can improve the overall quality of your essay.

Some people believe that violent media directly results in violent behavior.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

I'm not really agree with the statement. In spite of violent media tend to give bad influence to someone's behavior, but the behavior itself generally builds of so many aspect. Such a collective part that developed in long term and the result of mixture in many things that absorbed from someone since they were a little kid. So in other words, it is not always valid to conclude that only violent media which can directly results in violent behavior. Violent behavior can be developed not directly by the violent media, there will always a long journey behind of it back then. If we gather some people to test by given them a violent media, it can be predicted that their response can be very variative. It also supported by there is the different way of the thinking and feeling. People who tend to have violent behavior most of the time they already had their own different thinking in comparison to the normal people who mostly against violent and anything related to it. Violent media can only give bad impact to most of people but it doesn't always instantly develop violent behavior. It actually possible, but just if the people consuming violent media quite often in a high frequency and not guided by the right advisory. Violent media also possible to results in violent behavior for people who already have the tendency or strong background of it before. So it is better to conclude that violent media can be the one of aspect that inspiring violent behavior but we need to underline the part of that it's not always directly develop violent behavior.

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