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Your essay is well-organized and addresses the task adequately, but it would benefit from more detailed development of your main ideas. Simplify your sentence structures and focus on one main idea per paragraph for better clarity. Be sure to proofread your work to catch spelling and grammatical errors. With more attention to these areas, your writing can improve significantly.

Some today argue that schools are no longer necessary because children can learn so much from the internet and be educated at home.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many debate that education can be better learned from the internet than that from school,hence the foundations of schools are not as significant nowaday.Personally,i disagree with this statement because i believe that schools can offer more benefit other than education ,and, internet does not ensure the correctness of the knowledge .
On the one hand, internet learning does not offer as many benefits as offline learning.
In other words, If the childrens were planned to be educated by the internet, then they may lack subjects such as sport or music, this is because the one in charge of the learning is actually their parents, and, it is undeniable that the teachers from schools are more professional than their parents in terms of scheduling and managing the timetable to ensure that they are taught more generally than just essential subjects, they may be less significant but they are also required for children to develop their hobbies.For example, in the school they may develop feelings toward football, basketball or even piano, which is good for a child mental health. Not to mention the fact that they can have interaction with people to help them adapt to the society more easily.
On the other hand, the internet does not
grarauntee a good and precise study.Due to the fact that they are too many sources on the internet and i can not be certain that they will give a proper education.additionally, schools may cost a little money and inconvenient but it is reliable,and It is more advantageous than staying home and learn from the internet.For instance, A lot of learner in vietnam suffer the pain of confusion of not understand the concepts due to wrong educations from the internet which are contrast than that from school.
In conclusion, It is said that school is not as important as it was
,and, it is more convenient to learn from the internet. I oppose to the idea because schools are more beneficial and internet can give wrong understanding of the education.

Overall Feedback

Your essay is well-organized and addresses the task adequately, but it would benefit from more detailed development of your main ideas. Simplify your sentence structures and focus on one main idea per paragraph for better clarity. Be sure to proofread your work to catch spelling and grammatical errors. With more attention to these areas, your writing can improve significantly.

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