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Your essay is well-organized and covers both sides of the argument, but it lacks depth and contains several spelling and grammatical errors. To improve your score, make sure to develop your points more thoroughly and proofread your work to eliminate errors. Using more cohesive devices and linking phrases will also enhance the overall coherence of your essay.

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

When it comes to social flatforms, there is an opinion that it brings significant drawbacks to users. From my perspective, not only do the Internet has negative site, but it also owns a number of beneficials that can be denied.
About negative influences on individuals and society, there are some common quotes that can be easily listed. First and foremost, teenagers nowadays are greatly depend on social network. According to recently researches, about one-fifth of youngsters use their digital devices more than two hours a day. Therefore, family bonds have become further resulted from the lack of communication between its members. Further more, Internet users could be fall victim to disinformation. Fake news, misleading news are wide spread on the internet. Thus, without hesitation, readers could consume erroneous information.
On the other hand, social networking sites have their own plus points that could not be overwhelmed by its limitation. These days knowledge is more convenient to be absorbed than ever before thanks to the Internet. Just spend a small amount of time, people could access to the whole world knowledge. In addition, with the help of social network, individuals in every where, even in the most remote places could have a talk, and social relationship is become stronger.
In conclusion, social networking sites are proven to have its pros and cons. Depending on how people utilize it and it becomes the development or disaster.

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4 paragraphs

231 words

6.0